WITT #10: Me and my quarter-life (crisis?)

2016 has been really kind to me, I have had many experiences during this super-year for me! In this year, I am turning to 26 years old, where most of the people will say ‘welcome to the real jungle!’ and yes, I do welcoming the real jungle in my life now. Some people think it’s terrifying to turning in the age between 25 until 30 years old. They even say these age periods with ‘quarter-life crisis’.

What is it?

According to the Wikipedia, the quarter-life crisis is a period of life ranging from the twenties to thirties, in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult.

This phenomenon often characterized by insecurities, fear of loneliness, depression, disappointments, failure and broken-heart moments.

According to a recent study titled Emerging adulthood, early adulthood and quarter-life crisis: Updating Erikson for the 21st Century, by Dr Oliver Robinson at the University of Greenwich, this time in your life breaks down into five main phases:

  • Phase One: You feel trapped by your life choices, like your job, relationship or both. You’re living on “autopilot”.
  • Phase Two: You get a sense of “I’ve got to get out of this” and feel a growing sense that change is possible if you just take a leap.
  • Phase Three: You quit the job, end the relationship or break the commitment that’s making you feel trapped. Then you detach and enter a “time out” period where try to rediscover who you are and who you want to be.
  • Phase Four: You begin rebuilding your life slowly but surely.
  • Phase Five: You develop new commitments that are more in line with your interests and aspirations.

And sometimes I feel I’ve been through some of those phases in my life. But I am not that desperate or stress about my age yet since I am really enjoying myself with my works, family, passion, hobbies, meeting with new friends, travelling and the most important thing is I really enjoying my life to the fullest!

I have seen there is a lot of my friends who always worrying about their age. When they always talking about the relationship, marriage, economy issue, children, etc. Well, I don’t really care about other people’s businesses though, but sometimes the way they’re thinking of about their life, seems very interesting for me to know;

‘What do we exactly wants for our life? What are we really looking for in this life?’

Everyone’s seeking for happiness, prosperity, love, and their brightest future, that’s for sure. But for me, the most important thing is ‘the process’. The process how we could get all of that which will make myself or even other people appreciate what we do and we have done, as the results.

For example, I really love my job now! I feel like this is my real passion which I always dreaming of since years ago and me myself is very grateful of what I’ve got. And when I feel such feelings, that is the time when I appreciate ‘the process’ more than the result. It’s like when we are talking about relationship. It takes a long time for us to be with someone that we love faithfully and to spend the rest of our lives only with this person (this is the case for people who already got married). It’s absolutely takes many ups and downs, struggles, cries, laughs or even wounds that we faced. It’s all about commitment and its madness!

I have seen many friends of mine, who already has 1 or even more than 2 children in my age. But then I always asking, “do they really happy with their life?” I mean, when they need to do domestic things, taking care of their children, their husband, some of them also should have to work or doing business, continue their education, all of that at the same time! Maybe they even don’t have their ‘me time’ anymore, because they should have to consider many things before they will decide what they wanna do, frankly, for herself.

Well, again, it’s everyone’s choices to be what they want to be. I am here not to judge anyone.

For me, I really want to pursue my Master program by full funding scholarship, that’s for sure. I do really want to have happy life through the institution which we often called, marriage. I want to catch my dreams one by one. I want to travel the world, to see every sunrises and sunsets, to feel the different seasons, to eat a different kind of food, to breath the different scents of the world. I always feel grateful that I could travel the world almost 80% for free! How come? Because I got a job which always requires me to ‘travelling’ while I was joining with training, workshop, seminar, conference, or forum, usually in outside Jakarta or Indonesia.

But above of all, deep inside of me, I really want to make my parents and my family proud of me. Proud of what I am doing, even it will not in line with what my parents want me to be. But I know, they will always supporting me, supports me to be the better version and reach all of my dreams.

I’ve been through many break-ups, quit jobs, unrequited love, rejection, being cheated or betrayed. From these events, of course, I do learn many things in life. Whenever and wherever I feel like I was shunned from the things that I really wants, that is the time when I exactly knows God’s hands working in His own way and on preparing other things which is more useful for us.

So every time you feel life is unfair to you, that is the time you should have to get closer to your Creature and keep saying grateful for what you have got and what you have done in life.

C’est la vie!

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