WITT #6: What’s wrong for being an independent women?

If the words strong and independent define you, then prepare to be not liked by men.

While most women see themselves as damsels in distress, men look at the mirror and see a reflection of a knight in sleek, shining armor.

Blame the patriarchal society.

I just read an interesting article in Thought Catalog which talked about “Why Men Don’t Like Strong, Independent Women”. This article made me amazed and deep sighed, as well as make me wonder is it true happening in our daily life? I think so, because even in Indonesian society, most of the people, especially for people who were born in the 1950-1970 era has this kind of thought.

I have heard many times, older people said to us (as a women) or even said to their daughter “Don’t be too smart as women, because we (women) in the end just destined to do household things and taking care of the children, rather than working in the office or having professional job!” or even worse they will say “Women don’t need to get higher education, because there will be no man who wants to be with a women which smarter than them!”

What a silly opinion that I ever heard!

I was born in a family who taught me a lot about life, moreover if it’s about ‘how we should be independent as a person (not only because I am a women), without being ignorant, still humble and don’t forget where we come from’.

Since I was starting to work on 2012, I promised to myself that I should give some of my salary to my parents. It’s not because I want to change their money because they already paid all of my needs since I was born till I grow-up because I knew I will never be able to pay them without anything in this world. But I believe, whenever and wherever I feel happy and success about what I do as long as it’s positive things, I knew it is the time when my parents feel proud of me and it is paid off enough.


Perhaps we’re wondering why women nowadays would rather be dumb than be single. Again, using one’s head has become overrated. If you’re not dumb enough, then men won’t waste their time pursuing you.

The last sentence which I highlighted is truer than true! I was experienced and very familiar with this kind of situation. I still clearly felt it when I was being used by someone that I care the most, someone that was so easily for me to fall in love with, someone that means the world to me! Now I realised that time it’s the dumbest time which ever happened in my life. But I never blame with love, with my feeling, because I knew they never wrong. The heart is the truest and wonderful thing that human could have! It’s just sometimes, we experience such a bad luck. It is hurt, but you know the hateful feeling will never resolve any problem in this world. All I need is just forgive myself because we are the one who let other people hurting and let us down.


The thing is, if a woman is too intellectual and experienced than a man, then the man would most likely question his worth. And this is not what the society taught us. Men hate doubting themselves.

Am I right, guys? Men hate being intimidated, especially by women. Guys, is it a yes or a yes? So, they would rather go after a dumb hoochie who can make them feel superior rather than a smart woman who makes them feel otherwise.

For me, as women, there is nothing wrong for being too intellectual and more experiences than a man. We are in the era where women are equal to men! So we don’t have to worry about being so smart than our boyfriend, for me, he is the one who should have to be proud of his girlfriend and he should have to support everything that she does, as long as its positive and also useful for other people!

My friends always said that I am smart, intelligent, cool, trustworthy, and always could give best advises for them every time they shared their love or life story. But I admitted that I might be only good with words that I could use to comfort them, but not, or maybe never for myself. Likewise, people said it’s so easy to advise people, but it’s difficult to apply in our lives.

I always feel that I am the one who always being so stupid every time I had a relationship with. Because once I love someone, I will love them with all of my heart. And we all know, love is blind.

But again, it’s not a sin to be more intellectual and smarter than a man. And it will never be a sin. We should proud to ourselves, chin up, be cool and stay humble!

An independent woman doesn’t need a man, but still prefers a gentleman who could take care of her, ravage her in bed, and put her in her place once in a while. And watch how she will move mountains and make room for you in her life. ~ Anonymous

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