All my life I’ve always been waiting for my birthday and countdown on it almost every year. But not this year, everything seems flies very fast than I ever thought. I even just realised yesterday that today my age turn into 28 years old.
Yes, I am that old… but happy!
Too many things going on on my mind this year; wedding, work, family, even thinking about what would happen with my life after marriage.
What I have to do and what I am going to do with my life?
Can I live my life and will still be happy even I have to stay far away from my family? Which already being my real home for 28 years.
Last month, my grandma has passed away. It such a big loss for the whole family and brought many tears to us, especially for my Mom, who always took care of her all of her life, moreover this past 2 years. She was taking care of her which I could not imagine if I can do the same to her or not when she will getting older like my grandma.
And suddenly there was questions that hit me just when I saw my Mom crying over my grandma’s body.
What if it happens to my Mom someday?
Can I still taking care of her, like she did to her mom?
Can I still be by her side at the last moment, just like when she was with her mom?
I fight sometimes with her, we argued most of the times over small things, I even ever said that she is fussier when she is getting older behind her. Without I realized that wrinkles on her face that might be the rarest thing I will see in the next few years.
This feeling which always hit my mind every time.
I always feel grateful for what You has brought to me until today. I am thinking that my lives now are complete and I always feel I am beyond lucky to receive all these kindnesses from Him. The most Loving, Hearing, Seeing, Forgiving, and the most Responsive with His own way. I ever felt so bad yet terrible at the same time, but every time I talk to Him, I always feel good without I realizing He always gives answers to all my prayers even leads me to the answer which I might don’t like but He knows that’s what I really need.
This Ramadhan is an eye-opener and open my mind and happily has successfully made my heart feel closer to Him. And I hope it will bring me closer to Him, the most Merciful, in Ramadhan next year.
I will not ask for more on my birthday today, coz I have all those loves, happiness, kindness and everything from people that truly care about me. From a loving family which never replaced by anything in this world, from my parents who always lead, guide and loving me with their own way, from best friends who always got my back and always there whenever I needed even I often always ‘disappeared’ from them, from someone that love me of who I am.
Ya Allah, please make my mother and father always be happy and healthy every day. Please always protect them wherever and whenever they are and loving them as they always do to me and my siblings.