“Sometimes you need to know your place in someone’s life, because you might get hurt if you expect too much”
I am kind of a person that always doing some things ‘too much’ for a long time. I love too much, I care too much, I talk too much, I laugh too much, I cry too much and after all, I am the one who will hurt too much. The thing that I never had and will never have is the ‘hate too much’ feeling toward someone, even they already hurt me many times.
I believe everything will change. Even the person that means the world to us before.
But now, he is not that person anymore.
I feel sad. No, I mean I feel very very sad. When I just realised that he is not the same person that kissed me innocently. He is not the same person who always said “I feel really good every time I am with you and it feels very strong and comes so fast” while he wrapped me in his arms. He is not the same person who said “Let’s get married in France or Indonesia. Let’s having a baby, our baby!” when we talked about the future.
He even not the person who always texted and called me every time “I miss you”.
No, he is not that person anymore.
Sometimes, no not sometimes, but often I still can feel that I really miss him. Or maybe I miss the old him. I miss that moment when we laughed at random things, watched random movies, doing silly things and etc. But I realised he is not that person now. He is not that person that I had.
And it seems I just love the way it used to be. He even did not care about me anymore, like he used to.
That is life. Sometimes you give the sweetest cake in the world but then they give you the most poisonous scorpion instead.
Ps. I was thinking to write the WITT #2 on my way from Sarinah to my home by Gojek while heavy raining that flushed Jakarta tonight.